my backyard has been limbed (a wonderfully descriptive newfoundland term meaning to make a mess -usually in a destructive way as in "they had a party at the house the other night and limbed 'er).
we seem to have a large back yard but most of it isn't our property - it belongs to the power company. last summer they came and cut a corridor in the back removing brush. intrusive but not too bad. yesterday they returned and cut down all the big trees.
i could do nothing. i stood outside in my p.j's in minus 20 degree weather and cried. "you are breaking my heart" i told them. they were sweet and sympathetic and just doing the job they were hired to do. one after another the trees came down. i paced inside the house all day. i felt like my body was being ripped open. i didn't know what to do. it's rare these days that i'm in a situation that i don't know how to handle. by the end of the afternoon i'd been able to draw on my buddhist practice of non-attachment. i am only suffering because i'm attached to these trees. if i let go, i will find peace.
this morning is clear and sunny. i look out. the yard is wounded. but i have a bigger view. and i can see trees that were left, in behind, that i hadn't noticed before. and they are lovely (but i'll try not to get attached...)
5 comments:
I uses to have nightmares about teh power company cutting down my trees on Armstrong Ave. I would wake in stark terror. I know exactly how you felt. I can hear the trees scream when I read your post...
It really is traumatic to watch something like that. I look at old pictures of beautiful tree lined streets in my town and they made it look like such a beautiful, warm neighborhood. Most are gone now, either victims of the Power Company or Dutch Elm Disease. As a Town we have to cut anywhere up to 100 Elm trees a year to attempt to erradicate this disease. Very sad.
Hey Shawn, in celebration of your new-found unattachment, let's get practical... did they take all the wood away? Could I have it, if it is left there, please? (If I can't do what I think I would like to do with it, at the very least next winter it will be seasoned enough, and poplar burns hot).
Sometimes, you have to cut trees down. It's important as if they grow out of control, they will come down in the next ice storm and destroy your greenhouse, or your house.
I know your feelings. I cried for every tree that had to be cut for our driveway before we built our house. Years later, we have selectively cut and thinned the forest for a large radius around our home because of fire danger. The first time it was painful to participate in...but in lieu of some of the trees, we now have wildflowers and volunteer berry plants and all sorts of things that can now grow because of the sunshine and more moisture...so I feel like it was an exchange, of sorts. Perhaps you can plant lots of wildflowers or pretty things where the trees once stood?
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