Wednesday, September 3, 2008

focus


since the family left a week ago, anxiety and sleeplessness have flooded in. this summer was a gift. i received an unexpected inheritance late last spring. this meant that i didn't have to think about money. about sales. i could devote the summer to learning how to spin and enjoy a more balanced life - time for family and friends. time in the garden. mostly i learned how to focus on what i was doing.my continuous interior dialogue (what if this doesn't sell? what should i be doing differently? etc) was silent. this past week, all the worries and doubts and questioning that i had set aside have come in strong. i'm ok during the day but at night when i wake up - it's there - and i lay awake for hours with crazy fears and doubts (and plans) running through my head.
yesterday on our dog walk, i talked to my dear friend marilee about this. marilee introduced me to buddhism (through thich nhat hanh) about 6 years ago. she gave me, as always, wonderful advice. " figure out a way to keep these thoughts out. all these thoughts are about what may or may not happen in the future. get hold of them and toss them away. what is is what is happening at the moment. " so yesterday i set aside time for meditation and yoga (i've been very lax this summer) and last night before going to bed i did some more meditation. and i slept - i would wake but then i would sleep again. i just have to listen to my heart and go with my gut instincts...

2 comments:

knix said...

Thanks for that Shawn and Marilee!
I often feel the same and know not which direction to head in...and it's often this time of year. Doesn't it all seem to work out though!?!
For the most part anyway.
Hope you are having a grateful day
Lots of love
Niki

Robyn said...

I don't have much to add except to get in line behind Marilee. Working to quiet your mind is always good advice! One thing that I find helpful during meditation (and yoga) is to shift my center of consciousness to my hara (spot about 2" below your navel) and away from my eyes/face/head. You may even feel heat radiating from there if you stay there long enough. It has a wonderful centering effect.